Heavy Cavalry Regiment Dispatched to Observe Along Frontier

Krankenstadt, The Grand Duchy of Stollen – A regiment of Cuirassiers has been sent to the frontier between Stollen and its neighbor to the southwest, The Electorate of Zichenau. The three-squadron strong body of cavalry will join detachments of the Leib Grenadiers and artillery, currently functioning in an observation role along the Lesser Zwischen River. General von Schpargel, brother-in-law to the Leib Grenadiers’ Colonel von Spasticus, along with a small staff has been placed in overall command of the Stollenian troops now stationed along the river separating the two countries.

The situation behind the build-up of Stollenian troops along the Lesser Zwischen is due to recent developments across the river in the Electorate of Zichenau. Yesterday, news leaked from Zichenau that Prince Ruprecht VII had been found dead. Since the prince left no known heirs, his mother, Princess Antonia of Tauroggen-Fiebus, assumed the throne and immediately sent troops to occupy several key points around the Electorate of Zichenau and along the Lesser Zwischen. By late Sunday afternoon, Colonel von Spasticus noticed increased enemy activity across the river and sent a courier to Krankenstadt, requesting additional troops.

After uncharacteristically brief deliberation, the War Ministry of Stollen agreed and issued orders for additional troops to assist Colonel von Spasticus. Few extra units are available, so it was decided to send a regiment of heavy cavalry – the von Schtumpffeldampfen Kuirassiere(uniform shown above) under General von Schpargel. Von Schpargel, while brave, some even say foolhardy, suffers from an extreme temper and has left several notorious scandals behind him, during his checkered military career. He and Colonel von Spasticus are widely known to hate each other, so how this assignment will turn out is open to speculation.

Possibly connected to these events was the strange arrival of a large, anonymous package at Krankenstadt Palace this morning. Upon unwrapping it, the Grand Duke Irwin-Amadeus II discovered a basket, bursting at the seams with fresh figs. Immediately, the Grand Duke became visibly agitated and began muttering nervously to himself. Shortly thereafter, he retreated to his private chambers and has not been seen since. Conspicuously, the basket of figs was left sitting on the table where Irwin-Amadeus unwrapped it. Meanwhile, the palace household staff is currently attempting to learn from whom and whence the basket of figs came.

Meanwhile, Stollen’s ministers and advisors to the Grand Duke have spent the afternoon accusing monarchs in the region, and even each other, of trying to poison Irwin-Amadeus II with fruits of dubious origins. Throughout the ongoing argument, Herr Heinrich-Schatzi von Pelznikkel has tried to point out that figs are not actually fruit, but the blossoms of the Fig Tree. Unfortunately, few involved in the discussion have paid any attention to him, the apparently single voice of reason in the whole affair.

-- Katrina Bettina von Heffelfinger, Der Krankenstadt Tageblat