29 June 2007

Confusion, Intrigue, and Paranoia Reign in Wake of Palatial Pie Fight

Today, Stollenian ministers and advisors have gathered to determine the precise cause and order of events behind the pie fight, which disrupted a planned luncheon and meeting between Irwin-Amadeus II and the Prussian ambassador to Stollen, the jocular Herr Heinz von dem Salat. Few are sure how the post-bathing pie fight began, although everyone who was present has an opinion.

There are any number of suspects although no arrests or inquiries have been made. Is it the dastardly French mercenary General Philip de Latte, currently in the service of the Electorate of Zichenau and reportedly operating from somewhere inside the Stollenian frontier? Or is it the noted dessert chef, currently serving the kitchen of Krankenstadt Palace, Antoine Pont Neuf de Gallia? Is it instead a ruler from one of the many apocryphal 18th century states of Central Europe?

Herr Heinrich-Schatzi von Pelznikkel, who drew the short straw yesterday and so assumed personal responsibility for bathing Irwin-Amadeus, later receiving several cherry pies in the face for his troubles, opined that the Graf Maurice of Stagonia might be the instigator behind yesterday's palatial dessert debacle. Other ministers and advisors whisper that Graf Maurice in fact sent the right-handed lobster costume claw on purpose, fully aware that what was needed was a replacement left-handed claw.

Still others feel that mischievous agents from Hesse-Engelberg, the Duchy of Alzheim, or the Reconstituted Byzantium might also have had a hand in yesterday's dramatic turn of events. Suffice to say, there is much finger pointing in Krankenstadt this morning and little of substance offered in the way of explaning yesterday's spoiled luncheon.

Finally, some palace staff quietly suggest that Irwin-Amadeus himself, a man always appreciative of the rediculous, the sublime, and the absurd, staged the pie fight. However, this claim too remains unsubstantiated at present. If our Grand Duke was the man behind the pie fight, he isn't saying today, but instead seems content to sit in the shade outside the palace with a gin and tonic, chuckling contentedly to himself.

-- Katrina Bettina von Heffelfinger, Die Krankenstdat Tageblat

1 comment:

Bluebear Jeff said...

Herr Heinrich-Schatzi von Pelznikkel is a wise man.


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