To: Bob XXI of the Reconstituted
My Dear Highness,
Thank for the recent news of your intended travels through apocryphal 18th Century
Unfortunately, we are unable to provide suggestions for a suitable match of an eligible young woman for your royal highness. The Grand Duke Irwin-Amadeus II has been beset by so many troubles that he and his wife of thirty years, the Princess Ragnhild-Gunnlaug von Nordin (a woman of rather difficult temperament) have not yet been able to produce an heir to the throne of Stollen, much less any daughters. The situation is complicated by the fact that our small aristocracy and landed gentry here in the Grand Duchy are, to put it delicately, rather insular. Some might use the term “navel gazing”. Their marriage interests for any daughters seem to lie closer to home, or at the very least, no further than Königsberg!
Even among our more prominent merchant families, the prevalent desire among parents seems to be for their daughters to marry into families farther to the west or, indeed, the north.
As for diplomatic relations, please do send an ambassador and retinue to our capital city Krankenstadt, where they will be shown every hospitality we have to offer. I remain your humble servant.
Udo Dirkschneider von Pfeffernuβe
Foreign Minister for the Grand Duchy of Stollen