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Report on Moves Eight and Nine. . .

Moves Eight and Nine, exhibited little maneuvering by either side, but they were nevertheless full of drama for Stollen's Major von Topfsange and his opponent, Zichenau's Colonel von Adalnowski. Once more, let's peek into to the colonel's drawing room where the game is unfolding. . .


Move Eight saw Major von Topfsange again unlimber his single gun, to cover the left flank of his remaining company of Jaeger zu Fuss. Otherwise, this section of the battlefield was quiet as Colonel von Adalnowski watched through a blue haze of tobacco smoke from across the table without comment, though he was observed twisting one end of his waxed mustache thoughtfully.


On the north side of Effibriest, things went from bad to worse for von Topfsange's squadron of 3rd Kuirassiere during Move Eight. "Aha, your cavalry is within 24"-30" of my gun, old fruit!" exclaimed von Adalnowski suddenly. "Just roll your die to see if you can hit anything and stop going on about it," snapped the major. Von Adalnowski threw a "5", which meant a hit at that range according the the rules outlined in Charge!. "Ah, good show!" shouted von Adalnowski, who threw another die to determine the number of casualties. A "3" turned up, resulting in three casualties, one of which was the squadron officer. "Hell and damnation!" fumed von Topfsange as Colonel von Adalnowski proceeded to dance a happy jig back and forth along his side of the table.


Both men calmed themselves down after some minutes, helped by the arrival of a tray of summer refreshments. . . of a medicinal nature, brought into the drawing room by one Valerie l'Vivandiere. "Thank you mon cherie!" called von Adalnowski sweetly after her. "May we get on with things, PLEASE?" asked von Topfsange. "What? Oh, yes. Let's." replied von Adalnowski absentmindedly. There was no movement on the southern side of the field during Move Nine, though the colonel's Irish Grenzers did take a few pot shots at von Topfsange's artillery crew. No hits were scored at the 12"-18" range, but the major was annoyed by the musket shots buzzing just over the heads of his men.


Meanwhile, on the north side of the field, von Topfsange's remaining cuirassiers turned tail and made hell for leather for Crampas Farm at the eastern end of Teodorstal Valley, pursued by von Adalnowski's Grenadiere zu Pferd. "Stop, you blackguards! You ungrateful poltroons!" thundered the major, slashing at the at the air with his riding crop. "I'll give you what for!" On the far side of the table, Colonel von Adalnowski finished his glass, calmly poured himself another, and offered, "There now, von Topfsange, chin up. Fancy another G&T?"

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm not exactly certain why, but I find the good Colonel's refusal to take this battle seriously to be incredibly amusing...

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